Pregnancy Blog 2: Ten Months Postpartum

Stay Strong, Team

It’s three years today since Bella was born. Judah is nine months old. We made it, team.  Some days (today) I don’t know how. It’s not the day-to-day, it’s the sleep.

At first, you’re so hopped up on hormones and excitement that you can ride on them for a good week. Then, by two weeks, you start to think, “Wow.  This no sleep thing is no joke.”  Dragging, grey, tired. And then it just becomes your reality. You’re just tired all of the time. That’s parenting. People say, it will get better at three months, six months, nine months, when they start eating solids, once the molars come in. I think for some kids it does, but I know for a lot of kids it doesn’t.

That’s one of the secret lies of parenting. In yoga we say, the biggest lie in Bikram Yoga is “Balancing stick is ten seconds.” In parenting, the biggest lie another parent will tell you is “My kid sleeps through the night.” Means something different to everyone and it doesn’t last for anyone. One of my good friends did cry-it-out at four months. She said her son slept through the night.  “It works, Sara. You have to do it.”

At sixmonths he was getting up twice a night and at nine months once and at 12 months four times and at 18 months he was sleeping in her bed. We’re all just trying our best. Doing what we can. And we all have different kids. They all respond in different ways.

I’m not going to lie. My kids don’t sleep. Bella was up every 60-90 minutes, every single night for a good 18 months, didn’t STTN until after Judah was born. Judah slept last week from 10:30 pm to 4:30 am and so did I. It was the first time I’d slept six hours in over three years. I felt so good that morning. The next night, he woke up every 30-60 minutes.  I felt so terrible that morning. Up and down. Up and down. And if you have some advice for me, please keep it to yourself. I’ve heard it all from people I know and from people I don’t. And I’ve tried it all. If you want to commiserate, give me a call.

So, I’m humming along with life in my reality of tired all of the time, coping pretty well, keeping most of the balls in the air and all of a sudden, there comes a moment when I think, “How am I not a danger to society? How am I operating a motorized vehicle? Running a business? Cooking dinner without losing a finger or burning someone?”

I’m SO tired. Drained. Exhausted. Brainless. Hopeless. I think its the brainless that’s the scariest.

And then the next day, I’m all right. Take class. Change my outlook on life. Feel better. Keep moving. That’s what my sister and I always say to each other: The only way to keep going is to keep going.

And you know, someday these sweet, little muffins won’t even live in my house, let alone wake me up every two hours and I will be very sad. Some days that’s enough to keep a positive outlook. Some days.

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Pregnancy Blog 2: Six Months Postpartum

I spoke too soon.  One month after the last post, Judah started teething and has been up all night ever since. And spring? It’s July and we’re still having spring.  Just got a first taste of summer this week.  B.S.

I just re-read my caution to people with SI issues to wait until nine months to push it. Wish I’d listened to my own advice. I keep feeling better, then pushing it again and then I can’t get my foot the next day in Standing Head-to-knee. I don’t know, really, though if that is the SI stuff or the not sleeping. The more I nurse at night in bed, the more my hip hurts. I’m sure it’s all connected. Tired, run down, no time/energy to cook, no sleep, cranky baby, its a vicious cycle.

The yoga helps. I feel better, more energized, like I can face the day. Vitamin D and fish oil have helped, too.  I’ve also been seeing Ning Ling Zhou in Kennebunk once a month.  She’s a massage therapist and acupuncturist and is AWESOME.  The first time I went in, she massaged and pricked my left glute and sacrum for most of the time and I got off her table without pain for the first time in months. Very cool. (207) 985-5177.  Worth the drive.

I do have to say, though, Bella was a nightmare with her sleeping for 2 years. We co-slept. She night-nursed. I nursed her to sleep. Now, she is a comfortable, confident little girl. She goes to sleep easily in her own bed and sleeps through the night. I really feel like all of that nighttime parenting time that we put in with her paid off. She has no issues with sleep. We don’t fight her to go to bed. She does rise at the crack of dawn, but she’s out every night by seven. We’ll get there one day, Jude.

Kudos to all of the parents out there doing the hardest job in the world. I heard people say that before I had kids and thought they were exaggerating. Ha! I thought a lot of things before I had kids…